National Beard Week is here again. Following the amazing success of last year’s event, bush-boasting techies can sleep more easily in their beds. That is unless someone shares the bed with them. Then they are still in danger of having that someone roll over in their sleep and accidentally pin them to the mattress by their face fur. Sadly, beard-wearing is still a hazardous business.
But thanks to the campaign by the Beard Liberation Front, you are less likely than you were to be sacked for sporting a home grown muffler. Bosses are beginning to see the advantages of employees whose expression you cannot read. No longer do they have to hide behind the anonymity of the telephone. Beard-sporting salesmen can assure you really and truly that their product will guarantee weight loss with no need for exercise or dieting without being caught out in a bare faced lie.
What’s more, beard wearing is obviously warmer than going without. With the Government urging us all to insulate our homes to reduce our carbon emissions, you can go one step further by insulating your face, helping to conserve energy and Save the Planet.
The Victorians were great believers in hair migration. As a man got older and balder, the hair simply migrated south, like swallows in winter, looking for a new roost. How tragic then to whip it off; to make it feel unwelcome and unwanted. With no top thatch to take care of what is your forty-something male supposed to do in front of the mirror? A beard gives the opportunity for combing, highlighting even waxing – not to extract, Heaven forbid, but to encourage those little curly ends that are so useful for hanging Christmas decorations on.
We at doNOWdo love beards. We think everyone should have the right to sport one and because we are a non sexist organisation, we have extended this right to female members of staff as well. So far the only one taking advantage of her right to sport whiskers is Clairvoyant Catrina but we trust that others will follow. Other animals anxious to get in on the act have been following the example set last year by Gemina the Goat. We have had enthusiastic reposes to our appeal to Save the Beard from guinea pigs, sheep and even from lizards.
National Beard Week 2007 runs from 25 June – 1st July, and this year’s Beard Liberation Front awards include trophies for the most beard friendly sandwich, for the most hirsute news reader and most beard friendly white van man. Previous winners include David Beckham, the Archbishop of Canterbury and 
the cricketer Monty Panesar.
James our operations manager who had a large red bushy beard sadly left but Eric is manfully trying to follow in his footsteps - however his beard is on the At Risk Register and we are anxious for tips and suggestions, or maybe free samples of growth hormones to help it on its way. Any suggestions you may have can be sent to ericsface@donowdo.com