Film Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Director: Jerry Bruckheimer

Starring:  Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Bill Nighy, Geoffrey Rush

Classification: 12A

The Third in the initially refreshing Pirates sequence is a bloated mess, but with great effects.  “With great effects” goes with the territory.  A film budget with eight noughts presumably extends to lots of clever techy people who can perfectly recreate a duck-billed platypus playing the oboe or whatever.  The clever bit is the Plot,  and the Characterisation, and all the other things that lurk in the idea’s bag next to the great directors’ chair.

The Bruckheimer bag may not have been empty after the first two Pirate films, but it looks as though it was simply upended and everything that fell out thrown higgledy piggledy into the pot.

Interesting crisp packets

The basic plot is that Cap’n Jack must be rescued from Davy Jones’ Locker, for which purpose all the pirates must meet up, and summon to life the elemental goddess Calypso.  This reviewer worked all this out mainly from knowledge of the previous Pirates film, but Mrs Square, who had not seen it, floundered.  In fact La Square, who was sitting in the next seat, fidgeted and was visibly distracted by the décor, the other cinema-goers and the number of crisp packets on the floor.

There are just too many sub-plots, involving a cornucopia of locations, baddies, goodies who turn out to be baddies, dead baddies who are really goodies and, of course, Davy Jones’ heart.   There is lots of swashing of buckles.  168 minutes of it.  The result is a plot that meanders, and is very hard to follow, as witness the redoubtable Mrs Square.

There are some good laughs, in an episodic way, although not many of them, this time, from Jonny Depp, who is marooned for much of the film in a rather tedious subplot involving multiple copies of himself.  The Pirate Convention, when all the pirate chiefs assemble to save their world from globalisation, (by the rapacious East India Company), has several witty cameos, albeit about six too many.

Keira didn't get her jabs

The bit parts are the best throughout.  The action sequences are just too long for the there to be any dramatic tension between Mistress Swan, and Messrs Turner, Sparrow, Jones, Barbossa etc..etc.. In fact, although Keira Knightley cuts a fine figure, she seems to boast only one facial expression, indicating possible lockjaw.  Oh, and the final scenes reek of sequel priming.  Perhaps next time, before the start of “Pirates 4” we should be given a prequel, condensed cleverly into an advertisement for a well-known brand of rum.  Then maybe we’ll know what’s going on.

Rating 1/5 For the special effects

(Mrs Square gave it 0/5)