For too long the bearded gentlemen of this nation have been hiding away in Games Workshop fighting with goblins or at the end of an IT support line asking you if you’ve ‘tried switching it off and switching it back on again’. No longer will beards be synonymous with saints, tramps and techies, they will be associated with kindly beard wearing souls such as Noel Edmonds, Brian Blessed, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Father Christmas. Hirsute gentlemen, lay down your razors and rejoice! This is National Beard Week.
National Beard Week is a public awareness campaign organised by the Beard Liberation Front (BLF) to promote beardy goodness and general facial hair awareness. Keith Flett, the proudly hirsute leader of the BLF, has said that this year’s campaign is aimed at reducing the incidents of ‘beardism’ in the workplace following a shocking article in the Financial Times which highlighted beardist practices by British employers.
Grow a beard but get the chop
The BLF define beardism as the irrational prejudice against those with facial hair and in an interview Flett has said, “In the UK it is quite legal to sack someone with a beard. That must end.” You have our full support Keith.
You can enjoy Beard Week from the comfort of your own face, although you may want to try and be a man for this exercise as it’s a tricky one for the ladies. The first step is to dispose of your razor, this will prevent any unfortunate facial hair from being harmed during this experiment. The second step is let the good times grow. And there you have it, in a few days you’ll be a fully fledged beard-wearer and be more empathetic to those poor chaps to whom you shouted ‘Beardy Weirdy’ from the bus window on your way to school in your misspent youth.
Hairy Larder
Personally, beards aren’t for me but I certainly can see the advantages. A beard makes a great little hideaway for excess food and stops embarrassing spillages from reaching your freshly laundered shirt. What’s more, you’ll have a little stash of nibbles to discretely munch on when you get peckish. A beard is also a fantastic way to hide your true feelings for example, when you daydream about something funny and want to smile but you can’t because you’re in church, your beard will mask your sacrilege. You may also like to use your beard as a pencil case as you never know when you may need to write down something important.
Beard wearers also have the advantage of special treatment in food preparation areas as they are provided with a little beard cap, or snood as it is known. Imagine the jealousy of your contemporaries when you stride in sporting a snood. Moreover, having a beard entitles you to special attention and treatment for a whole week, you don’t get that sort of service if you’re a slave to razor now do you?
Noble beard
Beard Week is packed full of events which you may like to take your newly sprouting beard to in order to show your support. Friday 23th June marks the start of Beard Week and a celebration of positive images of the hirsute with the BLF making awards for Most Hirsute member of the House of Lords, The Most Beard Friendly Sandwich: Most hairy BBC Newsreader.
Everyone is getting involved with Beard Week which is enjoying heightened success following the blockbusting flicks from the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter series, both of which boast powerful, beard sporting wizards, some animals are even getting in on the act.
Growing our own
Here at doNOWdo we love beards. In fact we love them so much that we’ve been cultivating our very own beard on the inviting face of our Operations Manager in preparation for Beard Week. So far, we have a couple of fluffy centimetres but we hope to double that by the end of the week. The longer term plan is to set up a BPZ, or Beard Protection Zone, around our beard and let it grow wild for the next year or so to give us a fighting chance of gaining a place at the World Beard Championships which are being held in Brighton in September 2007. Any hints and tips you may have to help us grow can be sent to jamesface@donowdo.com.