“How did you two meet?” I asked my friends Neil and Carol one evening. “I advertised in The Guardian,” said Neil I don’t know why I was surprised that two people so obviously well suited should have met through a lonely hearts column. The fact is that more and more people are finding that pressures of work and the modern life style make meeting people socially increasingly difficult.

“I was simply fed up of being alone,” said Neil. “Coming home to an empty house; knowing that everyone else is sharing what they’ve done today with somebody else; knowing the phone isn’t going to ring and knowing that unless I make the effort to go out, I’ll be sitting looking at the four walls all evening. It was getting me down.”

“I was lonely too,” said Carol. “But I wasn’t looking. Some friends found an ad in The Guardian and thought the person sounded right for me.”

So what happened next? “Well,” explains Carol, “you ring the number on the ad and you hear the other person’s voice telling you something about themselves.”

“I had several goes at recording that,” interrupts Neil. “It was really tough.”

“Then you get the opportunity to hear other people that are similar. In fact Neil wasn’t the one my friends had in mind. Then you get to leave a message yourself.”

“And I rang back the ones I liked the sound of,” says Neil.

So was it love at first sight?

“Of course not,” says Neil, “You can’t possibly know. In fact I saw three people at the beginning. You have to be totally honest with them that you are seeing other people. I know it sounds brutal – a bit like a job interview - but if you are really determined not to be alone any more you have to give it your best shot. Then after a while, it became obvious that Carol was the one…”

Sex on legs?

Not everyone finds the process of blind dates so rewarding, however. Phil has been on the blind date circuit for a while. “Having spent my teens desperately trying to get off with every woman I met, I spent my 20’s and 30’s trying to avoid them. I was working in the Far East and every woman I met seemed to find me irresistible. Whilst it’s nice to believe that you just might be sex on legs, I always had the nagging suspicion that I was a being seen as a free ticket to the West. But trying to find a wife, now….. it’s so grim. Every date I have seems to be worse than the one before. I try to stick graduates from the best universities but the last date I had didn’t even know where France was!”

Many people on the dating circuit will recognise Phil’s problem: dating fatigue. Probably he isn’t coming across as Mr Dynamic either. People who have had success with on-line dating suggest that it’s better to chat a few times on the phone before meeting. You want to get away from the cycle of Wednesday is Date Night followed by Thursday is Will He Ring Back Day and Friday is Desperately Refreshing my Empty Mailbox Day.

Whoopee cushions or bean stew?

Sites, such as the Guardian’s that provide a voicemail service can be really beneficial in this way. You can tell a lot from a voice. If they say things that are your pets hates in their voice message, then you probably aren’t going to get along. It’s your opportunity to read between the lines.

“I’m a really caring person.” – Hmmm. Possibly a bit clingy

“In search of that special someone” – oh please!

“I care about the environment” – eats only beans und pulses?

“a ridiculous sense of humour” – practical joker?

“ambitious and hard-working” – never available

Some things will bother you. Others won’t. If you yourself are never available then a work-alcoholic might be right up your street; maybe your idea of haute cuisine really is beans and pulses, or maybe you too find whoopee cushions the funniest thing out. Some you will spark with. Others you won’t.

And yes, finally, the whole thing is a bit embarrassing. Yes, you will feel like you have a large beacon over your head flashing the words “Desperate Saddo”. But is it really any worse than the painful chat ups in bars, at dinner parties and, worst of all, the set-ups by friends who suspect (all right, KNOW) you are desperate? Internet dating is, statistically, a way of dramatically increasing your exposure to potential partners and taking control of your destiny.