You may have heard the expression “sailing is like standing under a cold shower shredding twenty pound notes”. That is a pretty accurate description - the cost of sailing is way more than my usual pocket money allowance. I love sailing, but only if carried out correctly; if something is done wrong, well, let’s just say the whole thing ends up much less “shipshape” than you might have hoped for.

If you’ re considering sailing, here are some tips to save yourself a £20 - note or two and a lot of extra showers.

1. Wear a lifejacket. I do realise that they are unflattering garments but you really need one. Adults do not necessarily need one on a river, but should wear one out of solidarity.

2. Be tidy. Ropes, bags, buckets and other items left lying around, might get tangled in something or trip someone up. This rule mostly applies on larger boats.

3. Never take eccentric or excitable pets on board. Trust me, I know from experience.

4. Only take the essentials. Carrying unnecessary purses, books or valuables might get in people’s way or fall off the boat. Take medications in a water-tight bag.

5. Make sure the adult in charge is responsible and knows what they’re doing. Also make sure they are definitely an adult.

6. Check the maximum number of people you are permitted on the boat.

7. Wear garments you don’t mind spoiling and you can move easily in. You may love your latest black and pink designer fashion item from New Look, but a boat is a boat, not a floating catwalk.

8. Check the boat is in good working order before starting. Also I would not recommend painting a line on the side and pretending there’s a crack in the boat so you can get out of doing a hard hour’s rowing.

9. Get everyone to go to the loo before setting off. This may seem like a pointless and frankly stupid thing to say but it saves a lot of bother later, when one of the kids starts whingeing “Daddy/Mummy/Aunt Daphne/Uncle Wilbur/Evil Pirate, I need to go to the loo”.

10. Do not yell “Land Ahoy”,”Yohoho”, “Arrrrr!” or anything similar for fear of startling other people in the boat and causing them to fall overboard, no matter how amusing.

11. For goodness sake make sure you have a planned route of where you are going, and one back!

If you have followed these rules you can award yourself a sailor’s stamp for the album; if not you can award yourself a sailor’s stamp on the toe!

At 11, Alex-Forde Erskine is doNOWdo's youngest regular contributor. Think you could write as well? We are always interested in hearing from budding journalists. Contact the editor charlotte@donowdo.com