Directed by: Juan Antonio Bayona
Starring: Belén Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Princep
Classification: 15
Before I go any further, do not let the "Guillermo del Toro presents" banner emblazoned above the title fool you into thinking this will be your typical del Toro fantasy epic. In much the same way that Tarantino had little to do with Hero or Hostel, del Toro's role is strictly within the constraints of "producer". It's something of a shame since del Toro's films are such visual feasts, and I can't help thinking that his directorial talents would have gone a long way towards making The Orphanage a brilliant film, instead of the mediocre outing that it is.
The film tells the tale of Laura (Belén Rueda), who buys the orphanage where she grew up with a view to reopening it as a facility for disabled children. Unfortunately, it's haunted, as these creepy old buildings often are (after all, how many other buildings would have sheds stuffed with useless trash?), and the strange atmosphere of the house starts stimulating the imagination of her adopted son, Simon (Roger Princep). Very soon, he's talking openly to "invisible friends" who are more sinister than they initially appear. During a large open day when the house is full of masked children and adults, Simon vanishes, and Laura becomes convinced that these invisible friends have something to do with it. When conventional methods of finding missing children come up short, she brings in a group of parapsychologists in an attempt to unlock the mysteries of the old house and hopefully, thus find Simon.
So far, so...predictable. Throw in a side plot about a mad old caretaker with a deformed son and bags containing thirty old body parts and it all feels too derivative to ever get into a higher gear. If you'd never seen another horror film or thriller, then you may just think that The Orphanage is the best film ever. However, for anyone who is familiar with the genre, I have an awful feeling you may be disappointed. The pacing is too slow, the ending is no surprise to anyone and the total lack of originality really spoils what could have been a good haunted house thriller.
I suppose the biggest problem is that audiences today are too savvy when it comes to such things - after all, we expect big old houses to have secrets, but I think we'd all like those secrets to be a bit more earth-shattering than the clichés that abound in The Orphanage. Yes, strange noises in the night and things appearing where they shouldn't definitely qualify as being "eerie", but you can't base a film on these things alone. Worse still, when not being completely ripped off from a different film, some of the "creepy" parts are just so badly shot you don't realise what the director's getting at until it's too late and you find you no longer care.
It's a decent enough film to watch if you're looking to just pass the time, but if you're after a top notch thriller that'll keep you guessing, you'd be better off looking elsewhere. I'd recommend renting or buying the original version of The Haunting, for example...
2/5